Sex makes us do crazy things while we’re alive. Imagine when you’re dead. Believe it or not, the undead have a libido that can’t be brought down with a simple headshot. And we here at Full Moon are no strangers to this sexy fact (Re-Animator, The Dead Want Women, Zombies vs Strippers). So, today, we proudly present you necrophiles with a list of the 5 Most Bizarre Sex Fueled Moments in Undead Movies!
What’s better than one sexy undead horror babe swooning over you? How about two! Throw in one of the weirdest cat fights ever and we got ourselves a winner. Well, a contender for the number five spot, at least.
"Honey, listen. I know what you're thinking. The answer is no."
4. Dead Alive
The pitfalls of horror sex.
This one’s a bit of a quickie. A nooner, if you will. You just can’t keep a good Zombie priest down. Certainly not after kicking ass for the Lord. But, when a spot of porridge isn’t quite enough to celebrate your resurrection, how about a Zombie nurse? Kinky.
3. The Return of the Living Dead
Where would the world be without the insatiable punk Trash? In life, she was a bit, uh, generous with exhibiting her birthday suit. As a Zombie, Trash can share her creepy sexual fantasy with all the unwilling survivors around her. All the while stalking the streets for a different kind of meat. Growl.
I like a woman who takes charge.
2. Fido
"Dip me again! Again!"
Now we get to the more romantic side of the grave for the final two. Oh, come on now, it can’t all be T&A. Some people prefer romance, you know. First, we have Fido himself, charming the heck out of The Matrix’s Trinity, of all people. Cute stuff. But then, we have Tammy. The rotting girl next door who likes to get rough. I don’t think she ever gets kicked out for eating in bed.
"I don't call her Toothy Tammy for nuthin'."
1. Cemetery Man
"Zombies, guns, and sex, OH MY!!!"
Speaking of love bites, here is number one. Death is totally not a deal breaker on this list, and Cemetery Man is no different. Promptly after returning from a short dirt nap, Anna Falchi all but mounts our hero, Rupert Everett. The result? A passionate moonlit reunion that ends with one hell of a hickie.
Okay, just a little off the top.
Honorable Mentions:
Remember puberty? I sure as hell don’t want to. Anyway, you sometimes can’t help but remember a couple of your ridiculous fantasies. What’s that you say? You’d rather not? Well, Bob’s Burgers is here to help, because Tina knows that Zombie love is hard-wired into our brains. Why else would they be so interested in our brains?
"Oh, hey! Fancy seeing you here."
The Full Moon staff are strong advocates for the equal rights of Zombies. That’s why Dead Girl didn’t make the list. We simply do not support the sexual abuse of the undead. But, just for those interested parties thinking “hey, where’s Dead Girl,” here’s the nod. Sickos.
"Happy? Ya pervs."